Will tomorrow be the day???

Well, we have now been in the state of California for one week and still no baby! I have decided she must be a redhead as she appears to be very stubborn... We arrived in CA (Los Angeles airport) on Saturday December 18th (early AM) and arrived to lots of rain which continued for the next 5 days I think. Lucky us- we were here for California's 100 year flood. After leaving the airport we ate at In And Out burger for the first of many trips. It is definitely the best burger I have had (fries are pretty good too). We got a voice mail from our agency after we got off the plane. The agency discouraged us from staying any where near our birth mom and also said she had gone to the doctor and was not dilated or anything yet- great.... so, we finally ended up in Pasadena for the first night. It's a nice town- we walked to and ate at the Cheesecake Factory the first night on a gift card we have had FOREVER. My parents arrived in CA the next morning and we eventually decided to head towards the coast with the possibility of going to the beach if it ever stopped raining. We stayed our second night in Santa Ana at the Embassy Suites and the next day switched to the Hampton Inn and Suites because they had free wi-fi (the Embassy was charging per day per device for wi-fi and between the four of us we have 9 "devices" that needed internet at some point- crazy I know). I think God placed us in Santa Ana for a reason, as it was one of the few areas that did not get severe flooding and/or mud slides from the massive amounts of rain. But we managed to find things to do despite the rain-found 2 malls to venture out to (mom and I were cut off after the 2nd one though), found a couple places to eat, found some yogurt and ice cream places, played cards and watched a movie. Tuesday we heard from the agency again that they would induce the birth mom the Sunday after Christmas if she had not gone into labor before then. So, we geared up to wait some more. Thursday was the first day it did not rain and the sun actually came out so we ventured out to Huntington Beach. We did not get near the water as it was still pretty cold but we walked out on the pier and found a place to eat and took a bunch of pictures :) Friday we decided to start making our way a little closer to where we would need to be once the baby comes. I can post more details on where exactly that is tomorrow. We found a great place to stay though with two bedrooms and two bathrooms and a full kitchen and living room. It has a work out room, free wi-fi, free breakfast buffet every morning, a free dinner Monday-Thursday evenings, free place to do our laundry (which we did yesterday) and several other nice amenities. Today is Christmas Day and still no baby... we got up and skyped with my brothers and Morgan this morning as they opened presents, had breakfast downstairs, watched a move in the living room, went for a walk, and then went to see True Grit at the theater. And now we are getting ready to have our mini Christmas dinner complete with Honey Baked turkey, sweet potatoes, mashed potatoes, green beans, cranberry and rolls :) And then I guess we will head to bed early and wait for a phone call tomorrow. We have no details yet on what or when anything is happening tomorrow. Hoping they will call tonight- its only 5:18 here. Will update again as soon as we know something. Pray we get a phone call with some details soon, pray the induction does happen tomorrow, pray labor goes safely and quickly and pray we have a healthy baby girl very soon!! I will update again as soon as we can- hopefully with baby news and pics!

Almost time!!

It's been a while since I've posted but wanted to make sure I documented my dates that I am so terrible at remembering... Since I last posted we have had two phone calls with our birth mom and both went really well. The first was Friday Dec. 3rd- the agency called while we were both at work and wanted to do the call at 4:00 out time and it was not the best of days for me to try and leave early. But I was able to leave early thanks to my awesome co workers who covered for me and Jarrod left early too so we could both be at home for the call. I was very nervous but it went really well- better than expected. Our birth mom is only 20 but she already has her hands full with a 10 month old who is very active and talkative. Her and her husband do not feel that they can care for another child financially and their 10 month old is their world. She said she was doing everything she could to not get pregnant but she still did. They want to be able to provide everything for their current daughter and felt like adoption was the best path for them. Our birth mom was actually adopted at some point in her life (we think high school when her father passed away). And her adopted parents are Christians so they were excited that we were also Christians. She feels that this is her way of being able to help someone (like her adopted father was always doing).

After that call we just started getting as prepared and ready as we could considering we have no clue when she will go into labor! She requested another phone call with us for this past Wednesday I think it was?? I was nervous that she wanted to talk to us again as I did not know if that was the "norm" or not. But it turns out her husband just wanted to talk to us (he was not on the 1st call), however he ended up not being able to be their for this call either. So we rescheduled for Saturday morning. In the mean time we had planned on flying out to California today (Friday Dec. 17th on buddy passes) but in looking last night the flights were all over booked and there was just no way we were going to make it on flying stand-by so we ended up calling Delta and buying regular one-way tickets for a flight tomorrow morning (Sat. Dec 18th). They gave us a really good price and they are preferred seats and together which we were not sure we would get using buddy passes. So, as of right now we are pretty much packed a ready to go (a few things left to pack like toiletries).

Oh and our birth mom was supposed to go to the hospital Wed. night and get checked to see if she has progressed at all yet or not, but so far we have not heard anything. So, why are we leaving before we know if she is in labor or not? We don't want to miss being at the hospital right when she is born- we figure it is better to be early than late, as you can't do this over again. Our birth mom has asked that I be the first one to hold and feed our baby girl (yes, its a girl), so I definitely don't want to miss that! So, we will head out to CA tomorrow and if we still have not heard anything we may head to the beach for a day or so? My parents are flying out on buddy passes Sunday morning so pray they have no problem getting a flight! I'm sure I am leaving out important details but its hard to remember it all. We are excited (still nervous despite knowing this is an amazing situation the Lord has given us as far as adoption situations go) and just can't wait to see our little girl! Hopefully sooner than later! It won't be truly real for me until I am walking out of the hospital with her (and probably even more real when I am getting up every few hours in the middle of the night, haha). We are expected to be in CA about 10 business day so depending on when she has her and when holidays fall it may be around 2 weeks give or take that we are out there.

Please pray that we hear something soon on how she is doing (contractions, dilation, anything). She did tell us Wed. that she was having cramps but from what I have read that can be nothing or it mean the start of labor, so we shall see. He due date is Dec. 20th assuming that is right? Please pray for a safe trip for us and my parents and that our little girl arrives safely soon! I will try to update on here as much as we can (I can post more detailed info on here than I can on Facebook). Thanks to everyone who has been praying and thinking about us! Hope to update soon...

Matched and Waiting...

Ok, so we have been a little busy the past couple weeks and I am just now trying to sit down and type out the full story... most of you have heard by now but we are officially matched with a birth mom! On Monday November 16th one of the adoption agencies we applied to called and said she had another situation we might be interested in. We got some details and said yes, we would like to be presented. Jarrod had a very good feeling about it for some reason. On Tuesday, the agency overnighted some family profiles (not sure how many) to the birth mom and on Wednesday she called the agency to say she and her husband had picked a family. At about 8:30 on Wednesday November 18th Jarrod was getting ready to go to bed early and his phone rang- it was the agency. She said she had good news and that the mom had picked us! YAY! The birth mom picked her choice and when her husband got home he picked his choice (not knowing who she picked yet) and they both picked us!

The birth mom is 20 years old - she has red hair, blue eyes and is about my height (no drugs, alcohol or smoking which is very rare in adoption). The birth father (they are married about 2years) has brown hair, brown eyes and is about Jarrod's height. So, this baby could have a very good chance of looking a little like us. They have one child who we have heard is around 9 months, possibly closer to a year (not clear on that yet). They live in California. The mom is in school to be a dental assistant we believe and the dad is working on getting his GED. Not clear yet on whether they are working or not? From what we understand they just are not financially able to take care of another child. Oh and she is due December 20th!! The adoption agency is in Utah and they were hoping to be able to fly her to Utah for the delivery so Utah laws and legal would apply but because she had already had some contractions and also maybe because she was not comfortable with it she will stay in California. The agency thought they could still get Utah laws to apply but we found out last week (I think it was?) they will not be able to do this so California laws will apply. Which should be ok but could mean longer until the adoption is fully finalized (but thats ok). From what we understand one she has the baby and before she leaves the hospital she will sign over her "rights" and this will get FedExed to Sacramento (the capital) to be "stamped", whatever that means, and once it is stamped it is irrevocable (meaning she can not change her mind at that point). They are planning on having the father sign his rights over as soon as possible (before birth) as the laws allow for this. So, needless to say we are very excited and very nervous. We have been preparing and getting things together as quick as possible.

We had a little scare this week though- we were "scheduled" to have a phone conference with the birth mom and the agency this past Saturday but our agency was never able to get in touch with her. They said they would call us as soon as they heard from her. Her caseworker thought that either her phone bill had not been paid or she had ran out of minutes on her phone but they were not sure. So, will every day that went by we got more nervous and I'm sure the agency did too. They said not to worry and we knew that this happened frequently with adoption but it still was stretching our faith like never before. So, FINALLY today the agency called and said they heard from her. She had either lost or broken her phone and had tried to call someone at the agency but it wasn't her caseworker and it took a while to get her message to the right person I guess. Little fuzzy on the details of that but either way, they said everything was fine and they would be in touch with her and give us an update soon. So, hopefully we will reschedule the phone conference for sometime soon. Although I dislike talking on the phone I think it will help to talk to her. Plus we will hopefully be able to find out some more details. And so we wait...

My brain is very scattered right now but we are so thankful for God's provision and guidance through all of this. He has blessed us so much already and we know He will continue to do so. We only have about 3 weeks left until her due date but this will be the longest 3 weeks of our life I think! Please continue to pray that our birth mom remains steadfast in her adoption plan and does not change her mind. This particular situation is at the top of the "normal" price range for a Caucasian domestic adoption so we were scrambling to come up with the funds this quickly (we were expecting to have longer to get them together) but God has provided one way or another. We are still praying that we are able to get the ABBA fund adoption loan (a zero interest loan) but they are waiting until her due date gets closer to make a decision. Either way, we have the money we need provided but this would make it much easier financially. We are so thankful that God is faithful and He has and will provided if this is the right child for us. Please pray with us for our birth mom that she would continue to have a healthy pregnancy, that she would have a safe delivery and that we might be able to be a witness of God's love to her. We hope that if nothing else we can be an example of God's love in her life.

At this point we pretty much have all of the "essentials" we will need to take with us. Some things we will just buy when we get out there like diapers and formula (I have a little to take with us but we don't want to have to haul a bunch back either). And hopefully, I will have at least one shower when we get back. We decided it would be best to wait until we get back to have those. Thank you to everyone who has been praying for us - your prayers are so appreciated. Please continue to pray for us and our birth mom and dad. I'm sure I am leaving something out but that's all I can think of for now and Jarrod needs the computer to pay bills :) Will update again soon...

MATCHED!!!

AND WE'RE MATCHED! MORE DETAILS TO COME...

Moving right along...

Well, so far we have been presented to two birth moms/birth parents. One was last week and when the agency called to let us know we were not chosen for that one she let us know about another situation. So, we will be presented to that birth mom and dad this week. We feel very good about that situation but I am trying not too get my hopes up too much. The birth mom is due in December so that would be super fast for us - I am a bit pessimistic so have a very hard time believing it could happen for us that quickly. BUT, I know that God is SO in control and His hands are guiding this whole process, so who knows what can happen! We should know something by next Monday at the latest but hopefully by Friday. But if we are not chosen then that is not the situation God has for us and we will keep praying for the one that He does have in store for us. But please pray for this birth mom that God gives her wisdom in choosing a family and that she remains stead fast in her adoption plan no matter who she chooses. Pray for patience for both of us and that God prepares us as we wait. Also, we are working on getting our financing together (Plan A and several back up plans depending on the timing of our match). We hope to have our ABBA fund (no interest adoption loan) application submitted tomorrow- pray that we are able to get that, as it would be the best way for us to finance the adoption. Thanks to everyone who is praying and continuing to pray- we are so grateful for the prayers!

Quick Update

Haven't had a chance to update but thought I better just to keep track of my dates. As of the week before last we are officially home study approved! We had our last home study meeting with Cheri (in Cartersville on our way to Dalton) on Saturday 10/16/10 and our home study is dated for 10/18/10 (so I guess technically that is our official date). We got all of our adoption applications and documents mailed to the 5 agencies this past week. The final 2 arrived on Friday. So, now the wait officially begins! Some of the agencies will mail us a letter saying we are approved and can start receiving situations or inquiring on them, others you just wait for a call saying they have a mother to present you to or a mother that has picked you. Three of the five agencies post some available situations online that you can inquire about if interested but otherwise you just wait for them to call you with a situation to see if you are interested. And so, we wait...

Pray that we are matched quickly and ideally with a mom who is due soon! But most of all pray for our future birthmom and child - that they are both healthy and the pregnancy goes well with no complications. We hope that through the process we can also be a testimony of God's love to our birthmom. Oh and pray that the Lord provides financially for all of this (we will be finishing our application for the ABBA fund no interest loan program this week so pray we get the money we need to cover our adoption). Thanks to everyone who is praying and continues to pray!

Homestudy

It's been a while since I've posted (been meaning to for a while now). We have been working on all of our homestudy paperwork and documents lately. But the great thing is we are basically done- yay! We are just waiting on one reference, out of 5, and our FBI fingerprints to come back. Monday will be 6 weeks since they were received for processing. We have been told thats about how long it takes so we are hoping to get them back soon. We had our first homestudy meeting (one of 3) on August 14th- we met the person doing this for us (Cheri) up in Kennesaw for this one, as only one meeting has to be in the home. And then we had our 2nd homestudy meeting (the in home one) yesterday (9/18/10). We cleaned our house spotless, of course, but it probably wasn't necessary (good excuse to clean good though). Cheri was only here for an hour and it was pretty simple- turned in the rest of our paperwork/documents we have finished in the past month and she had to look at the house quickly (basically to make sure it was safe for a child). Please pray that our fingerprints will come back quickly- the quicker we get those back, the quicker we can hopefully get homestudy approved! Once homestudy approved we can begin applying to the 5 adoption agencies Christian Adoption Consultants works with (this should be fairly simple but we will need to be approved by each of them). Hopefully, this will not take long either. Once approved by each of the agencies we can begin following their websites for available situations or wait for them to call with situations to see if we want to be presented to the birth family. Many people have asked how long until we receive a child... we have no idea! We pray that it will be soon. Cheri said the average time is about 6-8 months but you just never know. I've read and heard about adoptive parents getting a child much quicker than that and others its longer than that. We pray that it is not more than a year, as we would have to do much of the paperwork and documents again and pay to update the homestudy. So, please pray that all of these steps are quick and that God leads us to just the right birth family/mother. We will likely travel to another state for the adoption but it could be in Georgia (however, the agencies try to work in states that have a shorter period of time where the birth mother can change her mind). In Georgia, the birth mother has 10 days after placement to change her mind and thats a long time when you're talking about your child. I can not imagine taking a child home and days later the mother changes her mind. It does happen though so please pray that we would not be in a situation like that.
We have started preparing as much as possible since we don't know what the time frame will be. We painted the nursery room and cleaned it out. I have been to two consignment sales this month and got some "layette" type clothes for cheap, onsies, bottles and a toy. And we went to the Baby's Room in Kennesaw this past Saturday for their big one-day sale and I found a car seat I loved and ended up ordering a stroller they showed us. And I am just trying to buy little things along the way as I see them. We also had to take an Infant Care class and CPR class so we took both of those this month. The CPR was good, of course, since it covered adult, child and infant CPR and choking (anyone that is a parent should know how to perform both of these). The infant care class was good, however since I have been working at a pediatricians office for the past 4 years and have been working with kids much longer, I did not learn anything new. But I think it was good for Jarrod.
Well, I guess thats about all for now. Please continue to pray for us on this journey. Pray that the process would be smooth and quick and we would be led quickly to the birth family and child God has picked for us. Please pray with us for our future birth family/birth mother that if nothing else we might be able to share Christ's love with her and pray for her pregnancy and a healthy baby. It is amazing to think that our child could possibly already be out there somewhere. Please pray for me that I would be patient, as I find myself getting very impatient some days. I just can't wait to share our lives with a child!
We are so thankful for all of our family and friends who have been so happy for us and are praying for us- please continue to do so!

In Their Shoes

This is the first post that I've written on our blog.

Tonight I was struck by the reality of a mother and father somewhere making (or about to make) the decision to give up their child for adoption so that Rebekah and I can be parents.

Understanding what it is like to want children and not have children, I have a hard time imagining having to make this decision. I have a hard time imagining the possibility of standing face to face with these individuals, knowing that I'm taking someone that is (hopefully) very precious to them.

I don't know the "situation" (that's adoption speak) that we'll find ourselves in. It may not be like I think it will be. I pray God leads us and gives us wisdom. I'm going to ask in faith without doubting (read James 1: 5-8). This is where it starts getting real.

Fingerprinting Ordeal

So, for part of our homestudy paperwork we have to get fingerprinted and send the cards to the FBI for processing (a report is then sent to our agency). We also have to do this for the GBI, which is all electronic and much easier. But the FBI ones can take around 6 weeks for processing so we needed to do this ASAP. I asked to come in late to work Wednesday morning so we could go to the sheriff's department and get this done. I had called last week and asked about their hours and if there was a charge, to which someone told me there was no charge if it was for an adoption and we could pretty much come anytime except for like an hour during lunchtime. I called again Tuesday to ask about the cards they were supposed to be done on and was told there was a $5 charge for each (exact cash only- good to know), and that we needed to bring our own cards and they needed to be the "official" blue and white cards because their printer would not fit anything else. Our home study agency had just said to print out the card, which she had sent as an attachment, onto regular white paper in black and white and this would be fine. Well, for our county apparently it is not. So, we spent most of the day Tuesday trying to figure out how to get "official" fingerprint cards or how to print our own. We were both so stressed over this. Finally I decided it would be fine if they were in black and white (hopefully it will be) and I would print them myself onto cardstock which is what the cards normally are and cut them down to size. So, I spent $15 on a pack of cardstock, printed a ton of copies and borrowed a small paper/picture cutter from Jessica (thanks Jessica!) and cut them down to the size of the print out. Well, at some point I discovered the "official" cards are 8x8 and the ones I printed out were 8x9 (also tried downloading them from the FBI website but it was the same size). So, we were praying that some how this would work since the sheriff's office printer was set for 8x8 cards. They do your fingerprints electronically now and print out the images onto the cards, so their template in the computer has to fit onto the card. So, we get there Wednesday morning pay our money and hand the cards to the two ladies working. They both start looking at the cards and eventually comment that they are bigger than theirs and don't know how it will work- no way really... (sarcasm). So, I got back first and she opens the printer to put our cards in as she comments that she doesn't know how it will work, at which time I see that she has the "official" blue and white cards in there. So, I ask if we can pay for 2 of theirs and she kind of looks at them and then proceeds to take two out and doctor them (which apparently she has to do to anyone of them that are not for someone "checking in" to the jail-haha). All I could think was thank you Lord! It seems so minor but He took care of us needing those cards, which we had stressed over. She printed mine and then did Jarrod's and off we went. Easy as pie, once we had the cards we needed! Jarrod said it was a sign to him that the Lord was watching over us and was in control. Jarrod had commented Tuesday that it would have been easier to get arrested and get fingerprinted than it was to get fingerprints for an adoption- funny but it was beginning to feel very true. But we mailed the cards off today and hopefully they will be processed and returned with no issues- please pray for that. Thanks to everyone who tried to help us figure that out on Tuesday. Seems minor but we are so thankful the Lord took care of exactly what we needed and it was just another sign that we are on the right journey :)
Our family profile questions have been turned in and our consultant (Cheri) has finished our "narrative" - needs a few edits but its mostly done. We are going to hopefully have our 75-100 pictures compiled by tonight or tomorrow and will put on a CD and mail to Cheri to add to our "narrative which will become our family profile that birthmothers will look at. Other than that we are just trying to plug away at our home study and get at least something done every day/night. Hopefully, it wont take too much longer and we can turn it in and get approval. Then we can start applying to the actual adoption agencies and start being available for birthmothers to look at- yay! Please pray that God would continue to bless our journey and everything would go smoothly and quickly. We can't wait to have an addition to our family!

"Love It" Story!

Just wanted to share another ones of those stories that make me say "love it"!! As most of you reading this know I work at a pediatric doctors office. Yesterday at the end if the day I saw a mom and dad checking out each carrying one infant car seat so of course I assumed twins and had to go look. One girl and one boy but the boy was a good bit bigger than the girl who looked like a newborn (they had seen the other doctor in our practice, not the one I work with, so I didn't know who they were). I looked over at one of the girls I work with who was also cooing over them and she gave me a look that said I'll explain... Well, come to find out they are not twins- big brother is 4 months old and little sister is 2 weeks :). They were in the middle of the adoption process (not sure if they had already been matched or not) when they found out they were pregnant. But they decided to still proceed. So now they have a handsome "big" boy and a beautiful little girl only 4 months apart. Love It!! You heard about that happening a lot with adopting couples but it's always neat to see such amazingly happy parents. Just wanted to share the story because I love stories like that. The end :)

The Decision

Well, I figured it was time for another post since we finally made a decision this week... as I have heard several other adoptive families say- as of Tuesday July 27, 2010 we are officially "paper pregnant"! Yes, we have decided to move forward with the adoption process. Jarrod and I both started reading an amazing book called Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore, about 2 weeks ago and it really helped us to move forward in our decision. We had continued to pray about whether to try the IUI procedure or not and at first I thought I couldn't not do it but I gradually started feeling like I wasn't too sure about it. (IUI only has an 8-10% chance of working and often has to be repeated multiple times which means much more cost and you still never know what will happen. We feel like that money would be much better used towards an adoption.) In reading Adopted for Life, we both started to see adoption in a new light and neither of us had a peace about proceeding with IUI. But, we do have a peace about adoption- we know it will be a lot of work, a lot of money, a lot of time invested and probably some hard times/decisions along the way but, what an amazing thing it will be when God leads us to our child! I highly recommend everyone I know to read Adopted for Life- it is NOT just for those looking to adopt- it is for family members, friends and anyone that has been adopted by Christ. And if you are a Christian then you have been adopted by Jesus Christ and this book gives a wonderful picture of that.

You might ask if we have given up on having biological children? No, not necessarily, we still believe we have an amazing God who can do anything and he may one day allow that to happen. But right now we feel very blessed to be called to adoption and we know God has an amazing plan for us!

I started looking over all of the paperwork we have coming up in our future last night and it is all very over whelming so please pray that we don't get stressed about this. We want this to be a wonderful time to look back on, even despite all the paperwork! I will try to go over what the next weeks and months will look like as we proceed for those of you that would like to know this... Yesterday we signed up with Christian Adoption Consultants "CAC" (turned in our application, client agreement and "form of payment")- they are not an adoption agency, but they work with multiple adoption agencies. They will put together our "family profile" for us (after we answer a long list of profile questions which thankfully we have already done and compile a TON of pictures for them to use- still working on that), they will help us get through all the paperwork, provide us with information on adoption loans and grants, and just help educate us about the whole process. They also help you find an agency to do your home study which is where the majority of our time will go- to the home study paperwork! We will be using an agency that is affiliated with CAC called Hope for Adoption. They are an adoption agency (one of the ones we will work with) and also do home studies. We will also need to apply to them and turn in our "form of payment". So, after we turn in our profile questions and pictures (printed and in CD format) to our CAC consultant we can start on the home study paperwork, which is A LOT. Maybe one day I will post what all it consists of. The home study agency also meets with you 3 times during the process and of course, there is an in home evaluation too. So, we also have several "home improvement" projects that need to get done pretty soon :) After we finish our home study and are approved (which will likely take several months or more I am guessing) we can start applying to the 4 adoption agencies CAC works with (each has their own application and list of requirements, including receiving a copy of our home study and copies of our family profile). Once approved by each of them, which I assume will not be an issue, we start waiting for what they call "situations". These are referrals to a birth mother who is expecting (anywhere from right away to 8/9 months out). When we get a referral it means the birth mother has already looked at our family profile and likes us, so then we get to review what information is available about her and her "situation" and decide if we feel that is the child for us. It all sounds very weird. Since most adoptions are "semi open" these days we would get to talk to the birth mother on the phone and make a decision from there. She is choosing a forever family for her child and we have to feel at peace about the mother and her situation also. There is a very wide variety of "situations" out there- birth mothers that are teenagers, birth mothers who already have children and don't want anymore, birth mothers that are married and the couple doesn't want kids after getting pregnant (amazing I know but they are out there). Some birth mothers have used drugs during some or even all of their pregnancy, and some need, or just want, of all of their living and medical expenses paid during the pregnancy (yes, this is often part of the deal, so depending on how far along the mother is or isn't it can make a difference as to how much the adoption total is). But once we are "matched" with a birth mother and have decided it is the right match for us we can have contact with the mother until she gives birth (on a private phone line or pre-paid cell so she doesn't have our real phone number or know where we live). The amount of contact is really up to her though- some want to talk with you and some really don't. Some birth mothers request the adoptive parents to be in the delivery room when she gives birth if at all possible and in other situations you would either see the baby right after she gives birth or shortly there after. (There are a few states that differ on this though- not sure about all that yet). CAC tries to work with states that favor the adoptive parents as to when the birth mothers rights are officially revoked. In some states her rights are revoked as soon as she signs in others she may have any where from 1-10 days to change her mind and take the child back. So, CAC tries to work with states who have little "waiting time" (Georgia is not one of the better ones). Our child will most likely be born in another state and we will travel to get him/her (there is however a fairly lengthy waiting time due to paperwork before you can bring the child back to your state- lots of legal stuff- so we could be gone a minimum of a week. And lastly, there is a waiting time before the adoption is considered "final"- this can vary but you have to be followed-up with your caseworker/social worker once you get back home to make sure everything is going well. This is all just my understanding of the process so far, as best as I can explain it, which might not be that well- sorry! But we will continue to post as the process goes along.

So, please pray for us as we start this amazing journey that God will give us clear guidance each step of the way and that He will provide financially for this very expensive journey (best guess of cost would be $30,000-$40,000 total when its all said and done). Pray that in each decision we have to make along the way, especially when it comes down to choosing a birth mother/child, that God would give us a perfect peace of which way to proceed. Pray that we would have no "heart aches" along the way (some birth mothers do change their mind before they give birth- after choosing a family- and I pray we never have to experience that). Please pray for us however the Lord leads you! We can't wait to share this amazing journey with our family and friends! Thanks to everyone taking the time to read this!

Decisions...

Well, I figured it was about time for another update since a few things have happened since my last post. Last week (or was it the week before?) I got the results from my colonoscopy & endoscopy I had done June 18th- right after the procedures my doctor said I have a small hiatal hernia, some acid damage and she removed 3 polyps and biopsied those plus one other spot she was unsure of. However, she called last week, or the week before, and said I have significant acid damage and need to start Nexium (lovely since I have no symptoms of reflux or heart burn or anything like that), and that the 3 polyps she removed were normal but the 4th spot that she biopsied did show pre-cancerous changes/growth (this spot looked like folds in my intestine wall instead of a normal polyp so she did not remove it because it was not as easy and she wasn't sure of what it was at the time). I don't have cancer but it is a place that if left, without being removed, could turn into cancer. So, I now have to have a 2nd colonoscopy so she can go back in and remove the strange polyp- fun times! The procedure itself is easy but it's the prep for it that does me in- not to be too graphic but this last time it all came back up about half way through :) So, I go in on August 12th to have this repeated- prayers as much appreciated for an easier time with the prep and for a smooth and pain free procedure day. My doctor is concerned as to why I have had all of these polyps at such a young age (2 removed 3 years ago) so pray that I stop developing these as they can turn into cancer if left too long without being removed.

And the next part of this update is that we had our follow-up appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist doctor yesterday. The this point she feels we have multiple issues preventing us from getting pregnant. She seems to think we just "got lucky" the first time in actually getting pregnant. My TSH level seems to be back into the range they want it at, however she didn't feel it was necessary to recheck this until I get pregnant (not sure I agree with that but oh well). My endometrial biopsy from a few weeks ago was normal- no infection. However, my progesterone level, which they checked a few weeks ago, was "out of range" for the time it was taken and tells her I may not be ovulating regularly or at all. And Jarrod has multiple "fertility" (sperm) issues which may be adding to my issues and part of that could possibly contribute to a future miscarriage or "improper" development. So, all this to say my doctor feels the easiest and cheapest thing to help me get pregnant would be to try a round of IUI (intrauterine insemination combined with sperm washing). This is a very detailed process and I don't have the paper about it in front of me so I may have to fully describe it later but basically I would start taking Clomid (fertility drug), I would go in for 2 sets of ultrasounds, if at the 2nd one on day 12 I have not ovulated I would get a shot of Ovadril to make me ovulate, and they would also give me progesterone since mine is low, then I would use ovulation predictor sticks until I get a positive result, at that time we go into the office where Jarrod has to give a "sample" and they "wash" that to get the best swimmers and clean out the dead ones and then they give me the "best of the best" to through artificial insemination. Not only is this a slightly complicated process with several trips up to Northside during one month but it is not covered by insurance so it will cost us about $2500-$3000. In the long run this is really not that much to have a biological child but this process only has about an 8-10% chance of working and often has to be repeated once or twice (they usually wont try it more than 3 times). At this point we feel we could spend $2500-$3000 one time but not two or three times. That quickly adds up to a lot of money which could go towards an adoption. So, at this point we have to decide whether to even try and do this or not and when to do it. I have to at least wait until September because I can't be pregnant for them to do the colonoscopy - I can't risk not being able to have that done in August. We have been working on our family profile questions and pictures to get started with the adoption process but we have not paid anything or turned in the application yet. I don't think either of us really wants to put that off but I am also aware that I am getting close to 30 and my fertility is decreasing rapidly. That combined with our current issues means it might not be in our best interest to wait much longer to try and have children biologically. Plus, if we wait over a year to do the IUI we would both have to repeat our bloodwork and tests again which would mean even more money. So, to me it seems to be now or never for the IUI. Now that said, we can always do IVF down the road but that is much more money (not covered by insurance) and we are not sure how we feel about IVF (however, that process it much better than it used to be and they can avoid creating too many embryos- they can freeze them for later use so they only have to implant one or two at a time now). But anyways, all of that said, we have no clue what to do right now- please pray for God to give us a clear answer of what to do right now and that we would have a peace about our decision. Knowing that the IUI only has a small percentage of working, and even if it does, I still may have issues with development of a pregnancy, I would like to try IUI in September (once) and still proceed with the adoption process now however, financially that is not really an option as each of them are about the same price ($2500-$3000 for IUI and around $2500 to start with Christian Adoption Consultants; the adoption would obviously be MUCH more than that but that gets us started with the consultants who put together our family profile and connect us with multiple adoption agencies, etc). So, also pray that God would provide us with the extra money to fund one or both of these. We do have money in savings but don't want to deplete that too much. My brain is a little scattered at the moment so I'm sorry if any of this doesn't make sense or is poorly written- oh well, such is life :) But for anyone reading this please keep us in your prayers and pray that God will guide us through this, that we will know His will and have a peace about it, that he would provide financially and ultimately that He would give us at least one child- more would be great- either through adoption or biologically or both! Thank you so much to all those who have been and are praying for us!

The Call to Adopt

In my mind it seems like I have always felt called to adopt. I can remember back as far as middle and high school when I thought I would want to adopt one day. As Ephesians 1:3-10 so wonderfully puts and I will sum up very simply: we are so blessed that God has adopted us as his sons through Jesus Christ! I recently came across these verses and even though it is not directly talking about the adoption of children it spoke to me. If Christ can adopt us as the sinners we are, why shouldn't we adopt? Jarrod and I talked about adoption a little bit when we first got married and it was something we both thought we might want to do one day (I'm sure at that time in my mind I was thinking years away after we had biological children). However, God has recently started bringing things and people into our lives that started us thinking about adoption. Some good friends of ours (the Kotrlas) are currently in the process of adopting two children from Ethiopia (they are currently waiting on a referral) and we are so excited for their journey! Their passion for this has really spoken to and blessed me. At work, I have recently talked on the phone with several people about to bring an adopted child home and the joy in their voices has made my passion for adoption grow. My mom made contact with some friends of her and my dad who adopted a little girl through domestic infant adoption a couple years ago and we started looking into the adoption consultants that they used (Christian Adoption Consultants). I have been so blessed by the many adoption stories and blogs their website has linked me to. There have been other little things along the way but one that sticks out to both of us is several Sundays ago at church (Four Corners Church), our pastor and good friend, Alex Early, was doing announcements and started talking about some ways we could help others and at the very end he said "oh, and adopt!" It was so loud and clear to me and later talking to Jarrod it spoke to him to. We don't know that Alex was speaking directly to us in saying that, but I think God used him to speak to us. So, along with all this we have been praying together and apart regarding adoption and how this looks for us and that this would be something we are doing because God has called us to and not something we are just doing because we want a child. Of course, we do want children but adoption is such a HUGE journey so we want to make sure that this is the journey God wants us on and we want to follow in his steps the whole way. And there are so many choices along the way and so many risks, so we want all of those to be in God's hands. But, right now we do feel we are called to adopt and are currently looking into working with Christian Adoption Consultants to help guide us through the process and link us with multiple adoption agencies. We will be meeting with the friends of my family (the Kesslers) this coming Saturday to talk to them about their adoption journey and hopefully get a clearer picture of what will/can happen. We are so excited to start this journey, Lord willing, and can't to share with family and friends who may read this.

Among all of this we have a follow up appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist on July 13th to discuss all of our test results so far and see what the next step would be to try and get pregnant. We are not sure how far we want to go in that process as so much of that seems like you are taking control out of God's hands but we will go hear what she has to say and continue to pray for God's guidance in that process. We just don't know and that is ok! Because we are trusting that God will put us exactly where he wants us and lead us down the path he wants us on. But please pray for us on both of these issues that God would be 100% in control and we would have a peace about each decision we make along the way.

First Post and hopefully not the last...

So, We're not exactly sure how to start this- neither of us have ever "blogged" before but we are going to make an attempt as we venture into this new phase of our life. Thought I would start with some history of the past several years so everyone will know how we got to where we are now. Jarrod and I got married almost 6 years ago (6 years July 2010). We always knew we wanted kids but wanted to wait a few years before trying (in hindsight we wish we had not waited so long). So, in the late fall of 2008 we stopped "preventing pregnancy". I guess I had just always thought (a little naively) that I would just get pregnant not too long after trying, Well, I guess that was sort of true as I did get pregnant in May of 2009. Unfortunately, in July we lost the baby- doctor called it a "blighted ovum". This was a very difficult thing for both of us and is still a very sad part of our life. But we are so fortunate to have the amazing love of Jesus in our lives who helped to comfort us and also amazing friends and family who were there for us when we were ready to talk about it. In September of 2009 I decided to go see a new OBGYN at the recommendation of a friend who is all too familiar with what I had gone through. My new doctor was/is wonderful and she immediately started running a lot of bloodwork and did a transvaginal ultrasound. My bloodwork at the time was determined to be normal but the ultrasound showed some fluid in my uterus so she later performed an endometrial biopsy (very painful and not something I ever wanted to do again...). The results of the biopsy showed I had endometritis which is easily treated with a certain antibiotic. I finished my antibiotic and my follow-up ultrasound showed no fluid. So, we proceeded to "keep trying". In April 2010 (still not pregnant again) I went for my yearly GYN appointment and she went ahead and ordered some more bloodwork to recheck some things, specifically my thyroid since I have a family history of thyroid issues and autoimmune issues. She called me a couple weeks later in May and said my TSH had come back pretty high so she declared me hypothyroid and I started on levothyroxine the next morning. My mom and dad are both hypothyroid- my mom has Hashimotos/AutoImmune Thyroiditis so there was a concern that I might have this too. My doctor said I needed to make an appointment with an endocrinologist. I had actually decided after my yearly appointment in April to go ahead and make an appointment with a Reproductive Endocrinologist (they specialize in infertility) so I already had that coming up in 3 weeks. So, on June 2nd I had my first appointment with my Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE from here on out). She reviewed all of my history and ordered more bloodwork and several procedures. So, I had bloodwork done that day, including a repeat of my TSH level. On June 8th I had a HSG xray done (where they inject dye into your uterus and fallopian tubes and take xrays to make sure all is working properly and the shape of your uterus is normal). This procedure was again very painful. Sometime that week I also got back my bloodwork results which showed my TSH had dropped really low and I needed to decrease the strength of my thyroid medicine. It also showed that my hypothyroidism was autoimmune related and indeed I had Hashimotos like my mom (wasn't that nice of her to share with me, haha). This has been shown to cause problems with infertility and/or miscarriage. On June 21st I went in for more bloodwork (specifically progesterone and repeat TSH) and Jarrod went in for his "evaluation" (we'll leave his part at that). Found out later that week that my progesterone was low and my doctor later said it looked like I did not ovulate and also that Jarrod had "fertility" issues also. But atleast my TSH was coming back up closer to where they want it to be. On June 25th I went in to have another endometrial biopsy (you know, the one I said last Fall I would never do again...). This time I asked for something stronger than Advil and they gave me some Percocet to take- yay! Well, it might have helped some but it was still pretty painful. So, our RE doctor pretty much told us that day we have a lot of "issues" going on that could be preventing us from getting pregnant and may continue to do so. We are scheduled for a follow-up on July 13th to discuss all of this and talk about the next steps. We don't know what those are really but we are trusting that God has a wonderful plan for us and He knows just what he is doing. But still it is very hard to not be able to have a child when all your friends around you have or are and when all you have dreamed of being since you were a little girl is a mom. One day...

OK, so by now some of you who have read the "about me" section are asking where adoption plays into all of this- well it does, but I will have to continue that part tomorrow as it is now past my bedtime. Didn't realize how long it would take to type this first part!