"Love It" Story!

Just wanted to share another ones of those stories that make me say "love it"!! As most of you reading this know I work at a pediatric doctors office. Yesterday at the end if the day I saw a mom and dad checking out each carrying one infant car seat so of course I assumed twins and had to go look. One girl and one boy but the boy was a good bit bigger than the girl who looked like a newborn (they had seen the other doctor in our practice, not the one I work with, so I didn't know who they were). I looked over at one of the girls I work with who was also cooing over them and she gave me a look that said I'll explain... Well, come to find out they are not twins- big brother is 4 months old and little sister is 2 weeks :). They were in the middle of the adoption process (not sure if they had already been matched or not) when they found out they were pregnant. But they decided to still proceed. So now they have a handsome "big" boy and a beautiful little girl only 4 months apart. Love It!! You heard about that happening a lot with adopting couples but it's always neat to see such amazingly happy parents. Just wanted to share the story because I love stories like that. The end :)

The Decision

Well, I figured it was time for another post since we finally made a decision this week... as I have heard several other adoptive families say- as of Tuesday July 27, 2010 we are officially "paper pregnant"! Yes, we have decided to move forward with the adoption process. Jarrod and I both started reading an amazing book called Adopted for Life, by Russell Moore, about 2 weeks ago and it really helped us to move forward in our decision. We had continued to pray about whether to try the IUI procedure or not and at first I thought I couldn't not do it but I gradually started feeling like I wasn't too sure about it. (IUI only has an 8-10% chance of working and often has to be repeated multiple times which means much more cost and you still never know what will happen. We feel like that money would be much better used towards an adoption.) In reading Adopted for Life, we both started to see adoption in a new light and neither of us had a peace about proceeding with IUI. But, we do have a peace about adoption- we know it will be a lot of work, a lot of money, a lot of time invested and probably some hard times/decisions along the way but, what an amazing thing it will be when God leads us to our child! I highly recommend everyone I know to read Adopted for Life- it is NOT just for those looking to adopt- it is for family members, friends and anyone that has been adopted by Christ. And if you are a Christian then you have been adopted by Jesus Christ and this book gives a wonderful picture of that.

You might ask if we have given up on having biological children? No, not necessarily, we still believe we have an amazing God who can do anything and he may one day allow that to happen. But right now we feel very blessed to be called to adoption and we know God has an amazing plan for us!

I started looking over all of the paperwork we have coming up in our future last night and it is all very over whelming so please pray that we don't get stressed about this. We want this to be a wonderful time to look back on, even despite all the paperwork! I will try to go over what the next weeks and months will look like as we proceed for those of you that would like to know this... Yesterday we signed up with Christian Adoption Consultants "CAC" (turned in our application, client agreement and "form of payment")- they are not an adoption agency, but they work with multiple adoption agencies. They will put together our "family profile" for us (after we answer a long list of profile questions which thankfully we have already done and compile a TON of pictures for them to use- still working on that), they will help us get through all the paperwork, provide us with information on adoption loans and grants, and just help educate us about the whole process. They also help you find an agency to do your home study which is where the majority of our time will go- to the home study paperwork! We will be using an agency that is affiliated with CAC called Hope for Adoption. They are an adoption agency (one of the ones we will work with) and also do home studies. We will also need to apply to them and turn in our "form of payment". So, after we turn in our profile questions and pictures (printed and in CD format) to our CAC consultant we can start on the home study paperwork, which is A LOT. Maybe one day I will post what all it consists of. The home study agency also meets with you 3 times during the process and of course, there is an in home evaluation too. So, we also have several "home improvement" projects that need to get done pretty soon :) After we finish our home study and are approved (which will likely take several months or more I am guessing) we can start applying to the 4 adoption agencies CAC works with (each has their own application and list of requirements, including receiving a copy of our home study and copies of our family profile). Once approved by each of them, which I assume will not be an issue, we start waiting for what they call "situations". These are referrals to a birth mother who is expecting (anywhere from right away to 8/9 months out). When we get a referral it means the birth mother has already looked at our family profile and likes us, so then we get to review what information is available about her and her "situation" and decide if we feel that is the child for us. It all sounds very weird. Since most adoptions are "semi open" these days we would get to talk to the birth mother on the phone and make a decision from there. She is choosing a forever family for her child and we have to feel at peace about the mother and her situation also. There is a very wide variety of "situations" out there- birth mothers that are teenagers, birth mothers who already have children and don't want anymore, birth mothers that are married and the couple doesn't want kids after getting pregnant (amazing I know but they are out there). Some birth mothers have used drugs during some or even all of their pregnancy, and some need, or just want, of all of their living and medical expenses paid during the pregnancy (yes, this is often part of the deal, so depending on how far along the mother is or isn't it can make a difference as to how much the adoption total is). But once we are "matched" with a birth mother and have decided it is the right match for us we can have contact with the mother until she gives birth (on a private phone line or pre-paid cell so she doesn't have our real phone number or know where we live). The amount of contact is really up to her though- some want to talk with you and some really don't. Some birth mothers request the adoptive parents to be in the delivery room when she gives birth if at all possible and in other situations you would either see the baby right after she gives birth or shortly there after. (There are a few states that differ on this though- not sure about all that yet). CAC tries to work with states that favor the adoptive parents as to when the birth mothers rights are officially revoked. In some states her rights are revoked as soon as she signs in others she may have any where from 1-10 days to change her mind and take the child back. So, CAC tries to work with states who have little "waiting time" (Georgia is not one of the better ones). Our child will most likely be born in another state and we will travel to get him/her (there is however a fairly lengthy waiting time due to paperwork before you can bring the child back to your state- lots of legal stuff- so we could be gone a minimum of a week. And lastly, there is a waiting time before the adoption is considered "final"- this can vary but you have to be followed-up with your caseworker/social worker once you get back home to make sure everything is going well. This is all just my understanding of the process so far, as best as I can explain it, which might not be that well- sorry! But we will continue to post as the process goes along.

So, please pray for us as we start this amazing journey that God will give us clear guidance each step of the way and that He will provide financially for this very expensive journey (best guess of cost would be $30,000-$40,000 total when its all said and done). Pray that in each decision we have to make along the way, especially when it comes down to choosing a birth mother/child, that God would give us a perfect peace of which way to proceed. Pray that we would have no "heart aches" along the way (some birth mothers do change their mind before they give birth- after choosing a family- and I pray we never have to experience that). Please pray for us however the Lord leads you! We can't wait to share this amazing journey with our family and friends! Thanks to everyone taking the time to read this!

Decisions...

Well, I figured it was about time for another update since a few things have happened since my last post. Last week (or was it the week before?) I got the results from my colonoscopy & endoscopy I had done June 18th- right after the procedures my doctor said I have a small hiatal hernia, some acid damage and she removed 3 polyps and biopsied those plus one other spot she was unsure of. However, she called last week, or the week before, and said I have significant acid damage and need to start Nexium (lovely since I have no symptoms of reflux or heart burn or anything like that), and that the 3 polyps she removed were normal but the 4th spot that she biopsied did show pre-cancerous changes/growth (this spot looked like folds in my intestine wall instead of a normal polyp so she did not remove it because it was not as easy and she wasn't sure of what it was at the time). I don't have cancer but it is a place that if left, without being removed, could turn into cancer. So, I now have to have a 2nd colonoscopy so she can go back in and remove the strange polyp- fun times! The procedure itself is easy but it's the prep for it that does me in- not to be too graphic but this last time it all came back up about half way through :) So, I go in on August 12th to have this repeated- prayers as much appreciated for an easier time with the prep and for a smooth and pain free procedure day. My doctor is concerned as to why I have had all of these polyps at such a young age (2 removed 3 years ago) so pray that I stop developing these as they can turn into cancer if left too long without being removed.

And the next part of this update is that we had our follow-up appointment with our reproductive endocrinologist doctor yesterday. The this point she feels we have multiple issues preventing us from getting pregnant. She seems to think we just "got lucky" the first time in actually getting pregnant. My TSH level seems to be back into the range they want it at, however she didn't feel it was necessary to recheck this until I get pregnant (not sure I agree with that but oh well). My endometrial biopsy from a few weeks ago was normal- no infection. However, my progesterone level, which they checked a few weeks ago, was "out of range" for the time it was taken and tells her I may not be ovulating regularly or at all. And Jarrod has multiple "fertility" (sperm) issues which may be adding to my issues and part of that could possibly contribute to a future miscarriage or "improper" development. So, all this to say my doctor feels the easiest and cheapest thing to help me get pregnant would be to try a round of IUI (intrauterine insemination combined with sperm washing). This is a very detailed process and I don't have the paper about it in front of me so I may have to fully describe it later but basically I would start taking Clomid (fertility drug), I would go in for 2 sets of ultrasounds, if at the 2nd one on day 12 I have not ovulated I would get a shot of Ovadril to make me ovulate, and they would also give me progesterone since mine is low, then I would use ovulation predictor sticks until I get a positive result, at that time we go into the office where Jarrod has to give a "sample" and they "wash" that to get the best swimmers and clean out the dead ones and then they give me the "best of the best" to through artificial insemination. Not only is this a slightly complicated process with several trips up to Northside during one month but it is not covered by insurance so it will cost us about $2500-$3000. In the long run this is really not that much to have a biological child but this process only has about an 8-10% chance of working and often has to be repeated once or twice (they usually wont try it more than 3 times). At this point we feel we could spend $2500-$3000 one time but not two or three times. That quickly adds up to a lot of money which could go towards an adoption. So, at this point we have to decide whether to even try and do this or not and when to do it. I have to at least wait until September because I can't be pregnant for them to do the colonoscopy - I can't risk not being able to have that done in August. We have been working on our family profile questions and pictures to get started with the adoption process but we have not paid anything or turned in the application yet. I don't think either of us really wants to put that off but I am also aware that I am getting close to 30 and my fertility is decreasing rapidly. That combined with our current issues means it might not be in our best interest to wait much longer to try and have children biologically. Plus, if we wait over a year to do the IUI we would both have to repeat our bloodwork and tests again which would mean even more money. So, to me it seems to be now or never for the IUI. Now that said, we can always do IVF down the road but that is much more money (not covered by insurance) and we are not sure how we feel about IVF (however, that process it much better than it used to be and they can avoid creating too many embryos- they can freeze them for later use so they only have to implant one or two at a time now). But anyways, all of that said, we have no clue what to do right now- please pray for God to give us a clear answer of what to do right now and that we would have a peace about our decision. Knowing that the IUI only has a small percentage of working, and even if it does, I still may have issues with development of a pregnancy, I would like to try IUI in September (once) and still proceed with the adoption process now however, financially that is not really an option as each of them are about the same price ($2500-$3000 for IUI and around $2500 to start with Christian Adoption Consultants; the adoption would obviously be MUCH more than that but that gets us started with the consultants who put together our family profile and connect us with multiple adoption agencies, etc). So, also pray that God would provide us with the extra money to fund one or both of these. We do have money in savings but don't want to deplete that too much. My brain is a little scattered at the moment so I'm sorry if any of this doesn't make sense or is poorly written- oh well, such is life :) But for anyone reading this please keep us in your prayers and pray that God will guide us through this, that we will know His will and have a peace about it, that he would provide financially and ultimately that He would give us at least one child- more would be great- either through adoption or biologically or both! Thank you so much to all those who have been and are praying for us!